Chapter 19: Collect

Whelp whimpered piteously, kept from sleeping by the dull pain of his arm. He clutched it to his chest, though the pressure only increased the sensation of it. It had been worse right after the break,  when the pain had been sharp and violent; but the intermittency of the pain would rouse him just as he was nodding off. 

He shifted, and let out a loud groan as the pain sharpened. He closed his eyes, though the dark was the same either way.

“Whelp, it’s okay.” Scorch came by him and lifted him up, settling his head down on her lap.

“I’m here. I’ve got you. I know it hurts, but you’re stronger than it. Relax, and try to sleep.”

Whelp listened as his mother spoke. Her voice soothed him, and the pain in his arm mattered less and less. He rode the comforting sound of Scorch’s voice all the way to sleep.

 

Learn opened his eyes and immediately wished that he hadn’t. Everything hurt; his head, his arms, his face. He shut his eyes again, as if that would block out the pain.

That was right, he had… he had gotten Free’s Blessing. No, it had been given to him. Forced on him, by his father. Memories rushed into him, and another sharp pain shot through his head.

“Ugh…”

“Oh!” Piped a voice nearby, shrill and loud. A shot of panic jolted through Learn. He opened his eyes to try and get a grip on his location. He was… in a room, with a goblin sitting next to him. A goblin! Blind panic rushed through him, and he thrashed around before he could recall where he was.

That was Lgthpt. She was a friend, not a foe. She was helping him. He had… he had been hurt. So had Alvin.

“Lgthpt… what…” Talking hurt. That was right, he had taken a brutal blow to the throat. Regardless, he continued. “How long?”

“You’ve been sleeping for two days. We had a Healer come, she said you’re better but you still look terrible to me.” The goblin smiled, wide and crooked. Learn blinked slowly, trying to analyze through the haze of pain. Had she… that was a joke? He slowly tried to grin, and the pain from the effort turned it into a grimace.

He took a moment and focused on the pain. It was difficult, his mind kept trying to shake the attention away onto anything else, but Learn refused. He focused on the pain, and slowly, carefully, sectioned it off in his mind, building up a mental wall to keep it in.

He opened his eyes again. The pain was still there, but he could power through it. He moved to swing his legs off of the bed and stand up. There was less pain than he thought. They had brought a healer for his bones, good. That meant he could get to work.

“Whoa, Learn, not a good idea! You be needing to rest.” Lgthpt rushed up to him and put a splayed hand on his chest. They both knew that the gesture was powerless; he was too big and she was far too small.

“Can’t. War happening. Need to help.” He gently picked up her hand and took it off of his chest, then stood. His walls threatened to collapse and bring him with them, but he grit his teeth and the pain receded. “Can’t do nothing. Do… something.”

He had been beaten horribly. He couldn’t take on another orc in a one-on-one fight, he never could.

“You’re too hurt to fight,” the goblin said, though she could tell he wasn’t listening.

“Yes. Can’t fight anyway. Weak orc.”

“You, weak?” Lgthpt couldn’t keep the disbelief out of her voice. Learn simply nodded.

“Need something else… couldn’t use Satisfaction’s down there. Not fast enough. Not prepared.”

Lgthpt scuttled up onto the flat stone bed that Learn had been laying on. She rocked back and forth, holding her feet in her overly-long hands.

“Need a… a focus,” Learn continued. “Best mages all have one. Lrfshmn. Aethyn. Lysselia.”

“A focus?” Lgthpt asked.

“Focus. Tool, or thing. Needs to be important to me. Need to have an attachment to it.”

“I can do it,” the goblin piped. “Me, or Alvin. Celeste, probably, if she wasn’t so busy.”

“Can’t be a person. Wait… can it?” That was an interesting question. But, not now, Learn shook the thought out of his head. Best to worry about theories when the city wasn’t at war because of him. “No, it can’t. An object. Item, something.”

“Well,” Lgthpt pouted. “What’s your favorite book?”

“Don’t think that’ll work.”

“Toy?”

“Don’t have any.”

“Hm…” Lgthpt popped up and began to waddle around the room, arms akimbo, balancing on one foot after the other. Learn could tell that she was bored and just trying to entertain him. “Weapon?”

“I…” Learn was about to object, but the suggestion tunneled into his brain and set his thoughts aflame. He headed toward the door, ignoring the pain his limbs forced upon him.

“Learn, sit down!” Lgthpt shouted. Learn raised a hand and held himself up against the doorjamb with his other.

“Going to be okay. Need to… need my lab.” Lgthpt hopped over to him and stood next to him, putting his hand on her shoulder — entirely covering her shoulder, if Learn was honest with himself. She was too small to support any of his weight, but the gesture was nice.

“Can you get one of the others?” He asked slowly. “Someone… bigger?”

Lgthpt nodded.

“Don’t push yourself,” she chastised, then rushed out of the room.

————

“Dear, you still haven’t explained what you need me here for.”

Best sat, astride a throne of her own concoction. She had taken all of the loose tomes, extra materials, and various bits and bobs that had been strewn all around Magister Lrfshmn and Learn’s laboratory and organized them into a surprisingly sturdy seat. The result was that the rest of the laboratory was the cleanest Learn had ever seen it, and Best looked like an empress of sorts.

“If Lrfshmn were here, he would melt your eyeballs for moving things,” Learn exhaled. He was feeling much better; it was amazing how much pointedly ignoring worked to make it disappear. Or so he told himself each time the pain flared up. He didn’t have time to waste on something so silly as feeling pain. If the people of Shrike found out why Conquer had brought an army to their gates, they would lynch Learn and bring him to his father, bound and gagged. Worse, if the people of Shrike found out, Learn would go willingly.

And Learn couldn’t even imagine living in the Red Desert again, much less as the new focus of Conquer’s deep, unabiding rage. He wouldn’t last a week.

He wouldn’t want to.

“Dear, are you absolutely certain that you couldn’t do with a rest?” Best asked casually, shaking Learn out of his thoughts. Learn hadn’t noticed he had fallen silent.

“How long?” He asked.

“How long what, my dear?”

“How long was I quiet?” Learn asked, voice low. If his mind was truly that loose, then he had already failed. There was no way he could craft a focus without the right measure of intent.

But he didn’t have the time to rest.

“Not long,” Best answered, quelling his nascent fears. “A few seconds, maybe. But really, you should rest.” The elf fanned herself with an open book.

“Can’t.”

Learn took a look over the materials he had gathered. It looked like it would work; a fair exchange. On the desk sat a small fortune in gems, all of his stipends in a little pile. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He got himself focused, and performed the spell: one hand pulled back and the other forward, cross them over, then have them switch positions. A whisper under his breath, so Best couldn’t overhear — she would mock him until the end of days if she heard — and he opened his eyes.

On the desk were the gems. Nothing had changed.

“Damn it,” Learn blinked away the tears from his eyes.

“What was it supposed to do?” Best asked from over his shoulder. Learn looked. She was almost of a height with him while he was crouched. She moved next to him and pulled him toward her until he was leaning on her a bit. The support was nice, if not particularly practical; he was still holding up the majority of his weight.

“Trade. Value for value, mine for… his.” Probably best to avoid mentioning meeting gods in a dream, not while Best and Lgthpt were both pushing him to rest. He didn’t need them to think him insane.

“Well, that is a lot of value,” Best said. Learn could just barely discern a flash of want from the elf’s eyes as reflected light glimmered from the small fortune on the desk. “What are you trading it for?”

“Tusks. My tusks.” Learn answered. He was upset. It should have worked, the theory was sound. Evoke… Gawain had showed Learn the spell in person, explained the intricacies. He was missing something, something integral.

“Dear, orc tusks aren’t particularly valuable, are they?” Best asked. “Far less than that!” She waved a hand at the gems. Learn opened his mouth, fully prepared to explain just how wrong the elf was, how Satisfaction’s magic didn’t work like that.

Nothing came out. His brain slowly started churning, trying to find a point that would refute Best, and came up short. Satisfaction cared about intention, about focus, personal connection. Of course the actual value didn’t matter! Learn needed to leverage his connection to the materials.

“…Yes.” Learn answered. “Yes.”

He headed over to the makeshift throne and began to dismantle it, looking for something he could use. He didn’t care so much where the odds and ends dropped, so he threw them as far as possible from the source so he wouldn’t have to look through twice. He heard a yelp behind him, and he assumed that Best had been hit by one of his projectiles.

“Sorry.” He apologized, continuing exactly as he had been. He kept going until he found what he needed, gripped it with a vicious joy, and went back to the table. Best was still standing there, rubbing her forehead, where a small red spot was forming.

“Sorry,” Learn apologized again, placing the shekere onto the table, sweeping the gems to the side as he did. “Do you have an instrument?”

Best looked confused, but she shook her head. “I can always sing, dear. If you promise not to throw anything at me again.”

Learn grunted.

“Remember the song? From the tavern? Need you to sing it.”

“Why?” Learn had to suppress an influx of annoyance. The elf had a good suggestion, yes, but her need to have a reason for absolutely everything was irritating. Could she not extend any trust?

“Because!” Learn said, a bit louder than he had meant to. He quieted down. “Because it’s important to me. The memory. Mindset. Just… sing. Please.”

Best raised one eyebrow at him, but she cleared her throat and began to sing. The rhythm of the song was plain when it was unaccompanied, but her voice was enthralling, and as she sang the room seemed to pulse in time with the music. Learn focused on it, focused on the feelings the song gave him.

Warmth. Comfort. Acceptance. He waited, his thoughts cycling until he found the one that felt right. He swept his hands across each other, pulled back, pulled forward, and whispered. The room went silent.

He looked at the table. Where the shekere had sat was a pair of tusks. His tusks. He picked one up.

“Ew.” Best grimaced at him.

“Hush.” Learn hadn’t expected his tusks to go back to their rightful place in his jaw, but he had allowed himself to hope. Alas. They were different than he remembered. The tips were red, bleeding down around halfway, though as learn examined them, he realized that they weren’t stained with blood.

The tips were almost clear, ruby-red crystal, merged with the bone. Red, like the fiery stone Learn had seen in Free’s skin, eyes, mouth. Like Conquer’s eyes, Learn thought.

None of that mattered. He had done it, it had worked.

Learn had his tusks back. He grabbed the other materials he had gathered on the desk, that powder, the metal, and a makeshift chain, and put them into a bag hanging off of the back of his stool. He gestured to Best.

“Let’s go. We need to get everyone else.”